No one to call.......

I don't know what I am doing here... I don't even know if I know how to post this "blog". What I do know is that I need an outlet. Someone or somewhere to put all the words down, never to be seen again? Possibly. Doesn't really matter as long as I can get them out of my head. Stop the cycle. 

Today I had no one to call. Dropped him off at the center for the first time. So excited to have made this decision and finally found what we were looking for. Somewhere to go, to be, to exist, to be seen, heard, engaged and to keep him growing.

But when I finally dropped him off and said goodbye, I cried. Relief? Fear? Maybe it was sheer exhaustion but I cried. A lot.

In the car I wanted to call and tell someone my feelings. Have someone to make me feel I did the right thing, but there was no one to call..

Friends are working, kids are surfing, and there was just no one to call. 

So, here I am.